Parents who think well of their children also use the following 5 phrases in general when they are talking to their children but if they are aware of the consequences then they should stop using them forever.
1) You’re fine! ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ Does not matter!
When a child falls during a game, he often hears that nothing has happened. Similarly, when a child has a problem that seems to be trivial to adults, or an older boy speaks to him in a way that is insignificant in our eyes, we tell our child that it does not matter. Or nothing happens. According to experts, such phrases make the child feel insignificant or they feel that there is no cure for their pain.
2) You always. ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ You never!
When telling a child something like this you always do or you will never improve, the child becomes convinced and this leads to a state of frustration. Then he thinks of doing something good, then he realizes that his parents have no good hope from me. And instead of improving, it gets worse. Parents need to stop making mistakes and be happy when they do something good.
3) I feel happy / sad / angry when you do that!
Parents understand that by saying this they are instilling empathy in the child but the result is that the child is thinking that changes in your emotional state are related to it and there comes a time when he will say these things. He thinks that if you come to know about it, you will be sad or angry.
4) Don’t be rude, go and say sorry or love!
When a child shows rudeness to someone out of ignorance, most parents force the child to go and apologize or fall in love. At such times the parents completely forget about the child’s semi-autonomy in his will or decision and it seems to the child that his feelings are meaningless. He is being unjustly forced to please others.
5) Do not lie!
Sometimes children get excited and say things that have nothing to do with reality and the first reaction we get is, ‘This is not true, or they are not lying’. In other words, we are telling them that your words are not trustworthy. Remember that our first task is not to call them wrong, but to listen to them. There are even better ways to guide them.
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